Forever Live and Die
by MagicFairyGirl8
Summary: My version of the finale so SPOILERS! The truth will out. Alex makes the biggest decision of her life so to speak . Gene/Alex all the way! R&R please!


Disclaimer: Sadly I own nothing of the amazing Ashes to Ashes except the (soon-to-be) complete set of DVDs and an eighties-mad brain full of ideas! I also don't own the title which is a song by OMD.

Okay this is – brace yourselves – my version of the finale, so obviously MAJOR SPOILERS. I'm not the first and I'm sure I won't be the last to give it a go but of course it had to be done. I absolutely adored the last episode and I thought the end was right and fitting for the series... but that doesn't mean I wish things hadn't happened slightly differently. So here is my solution, and something to work through the grief, that's when I could stop crying long enough to write it!

Anyway enough rambling, hope you enjoy.

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**Forever (Live and Die)**

They left the airfield and returned to the empty shell that was CID. Chris, Shaz and Ray had gone, leaving Alex and Gene alone in the wrecked office. Alex was pretty shaken by everything, but was relieved that the others had rejoined the Guv, in the end.

She was gazing around at the mess. Gene thought about laying a comforting hand on her shoulder, but didn't have the nerve. Instead he cast his eyes around as well, thinking what to say, where that left them now. His attention was caught by an object on his desk; it was a video tape with Alex's name written along the spine. Gene was beginning to understand, and he could take an educated guess as to what the tape would show.

Taking a deep breath, he went to retrieve it, feeling Alex follow him instinctively.

"There's something you need to know Alex." He told her, meeting her eyes reluctantly, dreading what was coming next. "The others all got one too, that's how they found out... everything." She glanced between his face and the tape in his hands.

"I want to see it." Her voice was determined, although he could tell she was a little fearful. _She has lost so much already. It doesn't seem right... but at least I will be here with her when... it happens._

Perhaps she sensed Gene's own reluctance; maybe she was worried that he would not be honest with her.

"Please Gene, I just... want to know the truth, about everything. Please?"

Gene was holding the tape tightly in both hands, searching Alex's face, trying to memorise every beautiful inch... before he destroyed her. Because the truth would destroy her, he was certain of that. And yet he saw now that she couldn't be lied to or misled any more.

"I'm so sorry for this Alex, but I know that you need..." He trailed off, watching her.

"You're scaring me, Gene." Alex admitted quietly, although she never once looked away. He seemed to suddenly return to "Guv" mode, nodding his head decisively before pushing the tape quickly into the machine and switching on the television. As the screen flickered into life, Gene perched on the edge of his desk beside Alex.

The video – unlike those watched by Ray, Chris and Shaz – didn't show Alex her death. She had received plenty of messages and signs in the last few days that had told her that despite making it to the hospital and through surgery, it had been too late to repair the damage that had been done. Alex knew that the chances of her still being alive in the "real world" were very slim.

The film began to play out, mirroring the slowly fading memories in her head; taking Molly to school... Tate Modern... Arthur Layton... busker taken hostage...

"_You asked to speak to me, Arthur?"_

"_Nobody stares at me!"_

"_I help people, Arthur. I help people who are trapped – I help them to find an escape route."_

"_This is my show d'you understand?"_

"_I'm happy, hope you're happy too..."_

"_Mum!"_

"_Molly!"_

Alex's insides tightened unpleasantly as she recalled the moment her daughter had been grabbed by the man who had torn everything apart.

As Gene glanced sideways at her she looked confused; this was obviously not news to her. They both watched as Molly was shoved down the steps by Layton, and the fear and desperation was clear on Alex's face. The frighteningly familiar sound of the gunshot still managed to make her jump, gripping the desk securely, not taking her eyes off the video.

The Alex on the tape ran down the steps after her daughter and the sight that met Alex's eyes made her heart stop. Police officers were swarming around the area down on the bank searching for Layton but he has vanished. However, Molly was lying on the ground, a bullet wound in her head and blood everywhere.

Alex screamed, her hands covering her mouth, her eyes wide. She was in total shock, her whole world crashing down around her.

"No! No, no, no... this can't be, it wasn't... no, she's not... she's not!.." Shaking her head, she repeated the words over and over; not wanting to believe what she had seen was true. Alex looked at Gene, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Alex, so sorry."

"But she can't be Gene, she's-" Sobs ripped through her as unfamiliar images, feelings and memories flooded over her.

"This can't be real Gene, it can't be. She can't be-"

"I'm so sorry Alex."

"But I don't remember!"

"You didn't want to remember, sweetheart."

She clung to Gene, crying. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her as the office dissolved around them. They found themselves standing in a dark street, outside the Railway Arms. Chris, Ray and Shaz were waiting by the door, content smiles on their faces, having obviously come to terms with their fates and ready to move on.

The door opened and the noises of the pub came flooding out as Nelson appeared. The sound vanished again as the door shut behind the barman. He leant against it, arms and legs crossed, tea towel over his shoulder.

"Good ta see ya mon brav'!" He said in his thick Jamaican accent, smiling at Gene. Alex was still enclosed in his arms, her face hidden against his chest. She looked up at the voice, wiping the wetness from her cheeks.

"You comin' in friends?" Nelson asked the three by the door.

"Course!" Ray answered. "First round's on Chris."

"You what?" Chris responded, evidently not remembering agreeing to that. Shaz laughed and wrapped her arm around Chris's waist.

"You comin' boss?" Ray called back to Alex, the three of them turning to look at her and Gene.

Alex glanced tearfully between the group and their Guv, whose arms were still around her body, holding her to him. He could see she was uncertain, still trying to understand everything.

"You should go Bols." Gene told her. "Good company, good booze – not tha' bloody 'ouse rubbish we were served at that dodgy Italian place – good life, Alex. No less than you deserve."

His fingers brushed against her cheek.

"Through that door's yer reward Bolly. For years of service to the force, for all the people you've helped, criminals locked up an' lives saved. You're amazing, you know that right? Not a bad copper – for a bird." A tiny smile in response.

"You should go Alex, it's the right thing, you should go an' continue ter be amazin'. That's your way 'ome, I know how long you've been waitin'."

"Are you coming too?" Tears welled up in her eyes as he remained silent; she already knew the answer. She clung to the front of his coat, not wanting to be separated from him.

"I'm scared Gene."

"I know you are, love. But it's the best thing, promise. Anyway, yer probably sick of the sight of me by now. Much better off with someone younger an' posher. And Raymondo an' Wonder Chris'll look after yer. And ya need to keep Shazza company."

Thoughts of seeing Molly again warmed her heart considerably, but the idea of walking away from Gene was unbearable.

More tears. Gene gently pushed her away from him, towards the pub. She took a couple of shaky steps backwards, her eyes not leaving his.

"I don't think I can, Gene."

"Course yer can Bols. You need ter go Alex."

Making a decision, Alex stepped forward again. Gene made to protest but his words were cut off by her lips on his. The kiss was soft and brief. Gene closed his eyes for those short seconds, feeling her tears against his cheeks before they broke apart. She rested her forehead against his, breathing, trying to gather all the strength she had in order to walk away from him. They drew back, meeting each other's eyes.

"You know I love you, right?" Alex breathed, their lips almost touching again. She felt Gene nod against her as she closed the gap, leaving him with one final kiss, before pulling away. She turned without looking at him, managing to put one foot in front of the other as she walked over to her friends, wiping tears away. Shaz smiled warmly, holding out a hand as Nelson led the way inside; Ray and Chris following. Shaz's smaller cool hand closed around hers and she pulled her towards the open door.

Suddenly Alex stopped.

"I don't think I can do this. This is wrong." She whispered, her other hand stroking Molly's scarf that lay around her neck.

"I can't go Shaz. I can't leave him."

"He'll be fine ma'am, you know the Guv; indestructible." Alex shook her head, fresh tears falling. Things were starting to get clearer in her mind.

"The one person I've been fighting for all this time... she's not in there, Shaz." Alex went on, looking into the smoke-filled building. "I don't want to move on without her here."

"But ma'am she's-"

"She's not Shaz. If she was dead then I would know. She's still alive, I know she is." Alex was starting to realise the truth...

"It wasn't real." She said, more to herself than to Shaz. "He lied to me." Suddenly it all became apparent. The video was a trick; Keats' last ditch attempt to break Gene Hunt... and she had almost fallen for it.

"No." Alex let go of Shaz's hand. "This isn't right. I know where I'm supposed to be and it's not in there, with all of you... not yet. I'm sorry Shaz." The young, newly-promoted WDC smiled in understanding.

"Don't be ma'am, we'll see you when we see you; they'll be drinks waiting for you – for the both of you." Shaz hugged Alex, kissing her cheek.

"You always were my guardian angel, Alex. I guess there's more for you to do yet, more people to watch over, including our Guv." Alex nodded, returning the smile as she squeezed Shaz's hand. Shaz disappeared through the door, leaving the street silent again.

Turning around quickly Alex saw Gene's silhouette, walking slowly away. She started running towards him, the sound of her heels on the cobbles ringing out loudly. He turned around as he heard her, looking confused.

"Bols what're you-" She reached him, putting her hands on his chest, round his neck, pressing her body against his.

"This is where I'm meant to be... I can't believe it took me this long to realise. What I saw on that tape wasn't real, Gene. Molly is alive, I know she is. And if I'm..." Alex swallowed. "...If I'm dead, then I can't get back to her. It feels like losing her all over again... but I can learn to understand, to accept what's happened. My place is no longer with her, it's here, in this world. My daughter isn't dead, Gene, when I go through that door she won't be there, because she's still alive, breathing, living her life. I can't get back to her, I see that now, but I'm not leaving you here on your own. I don't want to go without you." Tears were shining in her eyes again and her lower lip wobbled a little, even as she smiled.

"He lied to me, to us. When he realised that he couldn't have Ray, Chris and Shaz then he tried again to break us apart. We're meant to be together, Gene. You've spent long enough in this world, doing this by yourself... but not any more. You're my constant, my Guv, and I want to stay with you, here, for however long we need to. And only when we're both ready, we can go together."

Gene's hands had settled naturally round her waist as she spoke, holding onto her tightly.

"Didn't wanna let you go, Bolly." He admitted quietly, nuzzling his nose against her cheek.

"Well now you don't have to, Guv." He pulled back to look into her eyes, searching for the slightest hint of fear or regret. He found none, only the pure overwhelming love that she had for him. She had made her decision. She was staying.

His lips grazed tentatively over hers. He could feel her fingers tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him down to her. She kissed him back, harder and deeper than she had only minutes before.

"I'm really gonna miss them." Gene told her, when they parted.

"Me too. But we'll see them again." He nodded, holding her tightly.

"So, looks like it's just you and me Bols."

"Looks like it Guv." She replied, smiling, although the tear tracks were still evident on her face. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she slipped hers around his waist as they turned away from the pub and began to walk.

"Lots of things gonna be changin' round here Bollykecks; new team, new car... new us."

"Mm-hm." Alex agreed, remembering what those smugglers had done to the Guv's beloved Quattro.

"But I'm hopin' some things are still gonna be the same..."

"Course they are." Alex told him. "We're still coppers, we're definitely unbreakable... but you know we're still going to argue about everything, don't you?"

"Well I wasn't expectin' a bloody miracle was I?" Alex slapped her palm against his chest playfully. "Besides, I was thinkin' more along the lines of you continuin' ter dress like a tart an' wiggle yer arse in front of me, like you've spent the last three years doin'!" Alex hit him again.

"I don't remember you complaining Guv." She stated flirtatiously. He squeezed her against his side.

"Too right! Didn't 'alf make concentratin' on the job difficult though!"

"Well I'll try and make it up to you, Gene. What are you doing tonight?"

"Sounds temptin' Bolly but the thing is there's this bird who's already got me on a promise, she didn't blink at my mention of upstairs outside on a first date and, well, despite 'er girly taste in music, I was rather hopin' ter get ter know the layout of 'er bedroom a bit better."

"Is that so, Gene? Well that is a shame..."

"Well I s'pose I could make an exception, seein' as it's you Bols."

"I feel honoured." Alex responded, her voice laced with sarcasm. "We could always make it a quick one if you've got somewhere else you'd rather be?"

"Nope. Nowhere I'd rather be Bollyknickers." Gene told her as they walked, arms securely around each other; together, unbreakable. "An' there's no need ter rush... we've got forever."


End file.
